The Touch Bar is dead, long live the Touch Bar
Apple's touchscreen replacement for function keys is no more — but at what cost?
Alright alright alright, rub me down with baby oil and slingshot me across a lake because the Touch Bar is done.
The horror is over.
But something’s bugging me… if this is such a good thing, why do I feel such sadness?
Well, we’re gonna find out.
On Monday evening, Apple announced a raft of computer upgrades. Generally, this was a “better, faster” sort of event. There weren’t any new features or designs, just spec boosts.
Amidst all this business-as-usual-ness, though, there was a titbit hidden in the entry-level MacBook Pro update: the Touch Bar was resigned to a cold, hard death.
So what the hell is the Touch Bar?
It was a screen that replaced the function keys on the top of the MacBook Pro keyboard.
And — say it quietly so as not to upset The Apple Ultras — it was actually a pretty cool idea.
The goal was to have a row of endlessly customisable keys that could also offer another way of interacting with software.
Imagine, for example, having specific Excel commands coded into the buttons, sliding through colour gradients on Photoshop, or even using the Touch Bar as a controller for some DJ’ing software.
This launch video shows the dream we all had for the tech:
So the Touch Bar didn’t live up to its potential?
Nope, it sucked.
I don’t want to spend too much time on the specifics (I’ve already done that here), but the main pain points were two-fold.
The first was usability. Effectively, we use keys on keyboards for a reason; and that reason is keyboards work. They’re easy-to-use and intuitive.
The Touch Bar was neither of these things.
And the second reason? Reliability — the Touch Bar constantly bugged out.
Whether it was not working on the first touch or crashing, it added this tiny layer of complexity and uncertainty when using your computer. It wasn’t terrible, but it was just inconvenient enough to be a hassle.
Once again, it became clear why we use actual keyboards.
So it sounds like the disappearance of the Touch Bar is a good thing?
Right?
The fact it’s no longer cursing the earth makes me want to celebrate like the French and torch every car in Paris, but… for some reason… a little bit of me is sad too.
That’s nonsensical.
Maybe — but hear me out.
These days, the tech industry is mature, and Apple embodies this more than most.
The time where they were scrappy teenagers rebelling against The Man are long gone. Now they have a crushing mortgage, several screaming kids, and a low-level alcohol addiction developed solely for surviving the week.
In other words, the days of heady experimentation are in the past. Apple and the tech sector are adults. Yes, they gamble every now and then, but only with things they can afford to lose.
We’re in an era defined by pragmatism.
On one hand, this maturity is a good thing.
If you order a smartphone, you know what you’ll get: a shiny rectangle that does everything you require of it. It’s what people want — and Apple and other companies give it to them.
Yet there’s a simple counter to this: it’s hideously dull.
So what? Companies should serve up any old shit?
Lord no. Let’s take Apple as an example.
For a long time, the company made changes to its computers that customers despised. As an Apple user, it was a blessing when it backtracked on the Touch Bar and Butterfly Keyboard, and started creating machines that people actually wanted.
What I do miss from this era though is the sense of experimentation. I’m a firm believer that things can be better, that there are untapped ideas that could completely revolutionise our machines.
Yet for every MP3 player with a click wheel, there’s a notch… or Touch Bar.
And this is the issue.
In many ways, I’m being unreasonable. What I’m asking is for Apple to both experiment and make something usable, to take a risk and release a reliable device.
Yes, that’s impossible. On a single machine — so why not release two?
Imagine if every year or so Apple released a weird-ass laptop where it tried out all the wild things its engineers and creatives could envision.
Are you picturing it? Does it look like a computer version of the below?
Then you and I can probably be friends — because that machine would rule.