Everything and everyone should be a BeReal clone
Bow down to the inevitable
2022 is the year of BeReal. The new social media app — which gets users to share a daily photo with a curated friend list — currently has 21.6 million monthly active users. While 74.5% of all its downloads have happened this year.
This hasn’t escaped the attention of other social media giants. Because, if there’s one thing tech companies love, it’s copying the ever-loving shit out of other tech companies.
TikTok launched Now, a BeReal clone. Snapchat launched Dual Camera, a BeReal clone. And Instagram launched Dual and is testing IG Candid, each of them BeReal clones.
But, you know what? Other social media apps cloning BeReal’s features isn’t enough — I require all of them to incorporate it. Screw commentating on YouTube or Reddit or Twitter, I need to take a photo that uses my phone’s front and rear cameras to really get my point across on those platforms
Actually, now I think about it, we should extend BeReal across all software.
I really hate starting Microsoft Word and finding there’s no option to share a photo with people I know but don’t like enough to speak with. It’s an insult that I can’t open Terminal without receiving a notification that it’s “TIME TO BEREAL.”
Hell, why stop there? Every single appliance should have BeReal functionality. Vacuuming? Putting your shoes on? Making toast? It’s necessary for me to see everyone I know giving a thumbs up in front of their computer wherever I am and whatever I’m doing.
But more. More. I am insatiable.
BeReal in every house, on every tree, scored into the ground itself. BeReal replacing Wi-Fi, broadcast over radar. My brain blasted with electromagnetic BeReals. Shroud the sky with dual images. Make the moon one frame, the earth the other. Blanket the universe, the outer reaches of everything where consciousness and space blur into a single being with BeReals. Every single atom, electron, neutrino, quark, all of it, should contain two photos; one from the front camera, one from the rear.
Together, they make a BeReal. All is BeReal, and BeReal is all. Everyone and everything and everywhere. Forever and ever, BeReal.
I’ve changed my name to BeRealuel
a) I totally enjoy your rants.
b) I TOTALLY enjoy the purple on this page.
c) In handling these social - or should I say - sociopoliticalfinancial thingies, I often use my alter ego, DON PISMIOFF. Therefore here, you might like to see some other rants.
https://www.bohemianelegance.com/rants/ And that's the tip of the iceberg. Not the iceberg lettuce now connected with that lady in the UK, apparently another inane social challenge by the same people who suggested you eat laundry detergent.
Enjoy!