Really? You want a robot?

Or how tech has made good things bad

Some interesting news has dropped: Apple is considering making a personal robot.

Since the company abandoned its car, it’s been hunting for more ways to make money — and a robot is one of them.

In real terms, Apple’s robot would likely be similar the Amazon Astro, a device that roams around your home, flashing its terrifying face, and doing its best to help you out. Effectively, it’ll be a cross between a voice-activated assistant and a digital pet.

Of course, take all this with a pinch of salt. Apple is simply exploring this option. Nothing is confirmed.

Saying that. It’s gonna happen. At some point it’ll happen. It’s inevitable.

The weird thing is how uneasy that makes me feel. Just over a decade ago I would’ve loved a robot for my house, a little electronic buddy to ask questions of and drink beers with, yet the way tech has evolved makes me want it less and less.

One of the worst parts of modern business is its need for constant growth. Because shareholders require returns on investments, it’s not good enough for a company to simply make excellent things; it must expand and consume and balloon.

While a robot that helps you out at home sounds delightful on paper — and companies will claim they’ll protect your privacy — there’ll come a point where they need to get bigger, realise there’s cash to be made, and hoover up your private data and habits for profit.

In our current system, it’s inevitable. Just like home-based robots.

It’ll be like ambient computing: at some point, robots will be everywhere.

Would you turn down something that could clean your house? Wash your dishes? Dust? Tidy? Wipe down the fridge? Do your washing? Complete all the tasks you’d rather not?

While robots capable of this won’t appear in the next decade or two, it will happen. It’s too useful. Too obvious. Too much of a moneymaker. The strange part is this should be the coolest shit ever, I should be fizzing with excitement — except I feel cold and anxious.

That’s the grim part of the modern world: we can see how technology has been used as a form of control, and how little has been done to prevent that. This makes the future feel bleak rather than exciting. We can see how it’ll go, and it’s not great.

A robot at home should be the coolest thing — and it’s a crime that’s not the case.