Buy first, be later

Or why hobbies seem to start with consumerism

I get fixated on things. For those who know me that’s about as insightful as saying “ice is cold,” but here we are.

These obsessions often follow a prescribed route.

First off, a topic captures my attention. This could be anything: jazz, plants, skincare, and tea are all examples of previous fixations.

The next step is preoccupation. I read about the topic voraciously before, invariably, buying something related to it.

I feel compelled to purchase. I simply can’t help it. It’s an overwhelming urge I cannot soothe.

Let’s take my basketball ‘period’ as an example.

Much like everyone else in the pandemic’s early days, I watched The Last Dance.

For those who don’t know, The Last Dance is a Netflix documentary about Michael Jordan’s final season with the Chicago Bulls.

At the time, I knew nothing about basketball. Any knowledge I did have of the sport came entirely from Space Jam.

But today? I know what I learned from Space Jam plus whatever I read the week I was hooked on The Last Dance.

That’s growth.

It’s silly to say now, but the Michael Jordan documentary sparked something in me at the time.

“Maybe,” I thought to myself in an unbelievably misguided kind of way, “basketball is the sport me. Ball could well be life.”

And do you know what I did while watching The Last Dance? Of course you do: I bought a basketball. It was my time to shine.

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From whittling to Warhammer, I wish I could say this is the first time I’ve made impulse purchases on ‘hobbies’ I’ve just picked up.

Buy why? What drives this?

One possibility is it’s a physical indication of a mental obsession — my version of a dog pissing on a tree. I have marked this area, my brain says, therefore it is now mine.

Or, perhaps, there’s an Aristotlean edge to things.

Yes, I did just say that.

In Politics, the philosopher argues that ownership is virtuous. He believed it promoted responsibility and “progress” in humankind.

Admittedly, he was talking about land ownership, but why let a detail like that get in the way of a fun idea?

On reflection, this was some poor, poor work. Still, probably the first time you’ve seen Aristotle with a basketball.

There’s something about The Big A’s idea of the virtuousness of ownership that rings true though. I do see buying an item related to a new hobby as a sign of progression.

Getting obsessed with something is, to me, all about change.

It’s a way to channel our desire for improvement, feeding the thought that buying something can turn us into the people we want to be. Having an actual object to represent that makes you feel changed. It’s a driver, a catalyst, a signpost.

On the other hand — and hear me out with this one — maybe, just maybe, feeling the constant need to consume is just a trick played on us to equate worth with ownership.

Could it be? Really?

Whatever the answer is, at least I know one thing for certain: I’ve yet to play any sort of basketball.

Honestly? The basketball I bought has never even been outside. It sits here, on the top of my coat rack, taunting me. Day by day, it is a visible sign of failure. I’d ask for god to have mercy on me, but he has committed greater crimes than mine and has no space for forgiveness.